Bolton 0 - Bowdon Killer Bee's 4

And so another hockey season arises from the dog-days of Summer; pristine, pure, and full of promise - unlike the Killer Bees who were none of the above and just about managed to arise from their collective hives to swarm over the nether regions of the hockey playing world, aka Harper Green astro, to take on the perennial foe that is Bolton. All the old warhorses were trundled out once again, led by their indomitable leader Olly 'Quiffus Maximus Hairsprayus' Hawkins. So strong were the mighty Bees that there was no room for the wily skills of Skippy who was reduced to umpiring the contest, and thereby ruining twenty-two peoples' afternoon !

Battle commenced and against all the odds the red-and-black produced something that could be called, at a push, hockey - passing to each other, tackling the oppo, running hard and generally looking like a team. Olly was commanding at the back, Yokker dominant in midfield and Darbs leading the line in attack. And the superiority of the Bees was justly rewarded by two goals in quick succession from Yokker and Darbs. Bolton has some useful players but could not match the Bees teamwork, and most counter-attacks were snuffled out by Andy Braithwaite and Carl 'The Enforcer' Tennant, and any thrusts that got past the tenacious rearguard crumbled on the mighty goalkeeping rock that is Adrian Reed, despite his enduring tendency to go down faster than a cheap prostitute. (Ed - that could have won the Shakespeare award already! )

Half-time arrived and I'm sure Olly's team-talk was as inspirational as usual, blah,blah,blah. (Ed - Ah, but that just lost the Shakespeare Award. Doh! )

The second period followed a similar pattern to the first, with Sticky's skills (eh !) and fitness (double eh !) being suprisingly effective, and Giles Sutcliffe providing a reliable attacking channel down the left. To nobody's surprise the Bees increased their lead with a great individual run and finish by Dave "bloody hell he's quick" Phillips, and a second for Yokker to round off a great display by the team.

By the final whistle Bolton were bloodied, but unbowed, and the victors proceeded to their final duty of the afternoon - increasing the opposition's bar profits !


An auspicious start to the season, with every player working hard & the Bees getting the result (and margin) that they deserved. Good show from new boy Andy Pritchard, and thanks to Skippy for umpiring. Pies all round afterwards! Huzzah!

Anyway, never mind the scoreline, will anyone be able to beat Skippy's record setting opening sentence of sixty one words in this season's match reports!