Bowdon Killer Bees 7 - Bowdon Ladies II 1

The words "Total hockey" are all too often used these days, but in the case of the Bees last Saturday they are entirely justified. If Brazil played hockey, they would play like the Bees.

The Bees line-up harked back to the halcyon days of beating Bolton away and doing over Runcorn on the grass. All great teams are built on a solid defence, and the Bees did not disappoint. The Silver Haired Fox, Carl Tenant, returned to the Bees after dominating every attack in Division 8 (S) for the Bowdon VII's. Nick controlled the centre with a heady mix of flair and raw power, and yours truly returned from the mighty VI team to inject a bit of class into the side.

The midfield consisted of "Chopper" Gawne who bossed the midfield, Lord Grant flown in following his nuptials, Constable Bunn bringing his unique blend of pace and skill to the left and Richard Cooper who stuck fear into the Ladies defence.

The attack force which would strike fear into any defence contained the mercurial genius that is Yokker, the never tiring legs of Dave Phillips and potent finishing of Andy White.

Once the swarm had congregated, we were dismayed (Not what I was told, but don't let me spoil a good story - Ed, from Deathbed) to learn that our fearless leader, Ollius Maximus, was in bed feeling poorly. After we all expressed concern for his health, captain of the day Yokker inspired the troops. I cannot remember what he said but the speech ranked up there with Winston Churchill at his eloquent best or Henry V at Agincourt. Suitably pumped up, the Bees faced their opponents....

To be perfectly honest, I can't really remember much of the game. I seem to remember thinking that I was brilliant, and that the Bees actually looked like a proper hockey team. I do believe at one point we even passed the ball backwards and round the back to switch the attack! We may have left it a bit late for this season, but on this form the Bees could beat anybody! The game was enjoyed by all and the Bees ended up 7-1 victors. Rumour has it the Dave Phillips scored four, Andy White got at least one, I couldn't see the rest
because I was stuck at the back. (Yokker got two. He didn't mention how many he missed... - Stats Ed)

Andy 'Getting a bit cocky now' Braithwaite

Yes, another match report from Braithers! It makes a change from myself or Yokker, and has a nice, short, opening sentence. When will the other members of the team realise the benefits of match report writing, we ask? The blatant self-appreciation (the alternative doesn't bear thinking about), the endless opportunities for slander, the chance to rewrite history as the victor! Indeed, since Andy embarked upon his report-writing career, he has received a string of saucy offers from a woman who lives (very) near him, wishing to test his virility (and her fertility )... Coo! Mind you, he gets a bit morose when you mention this to him, so best not, eh?