Bowdon Killer Bees 9 - Lytham 1

At the start of the season, & against a... well, rusty doesn't even begin to describe it (more like seized up completely) Bees side, Lytham's league team had so overwhelmed us that at half time & in a typically sporting gesture, they lent us one of their spritely players, who subsequently inspired us to pull a few goals back. However, it was anticipated that Lytham, who are normally our toughest (& often most enjoyable) oppo, were going to be just as big a challenge this time round. To this end, when I discovered that the third team had no game it only seemed sensible to add a degree of, uh, flexibility to the trusty (but reduced) Bee's lineup by snaffling a few bodies. Hence Baywatch & Sammy Dawson-Smith were recruited to bolster up the defence, & once word was out to the IIIs, Mike Power & Ali Cobain begged me to let them play (at least, I remember some calls to mobiles, & some begging...). Even Big Al surfaced, and on paper the Bee's teamlist was a lonely campanologist's dream (i.e. full of ringers!)


Lytham, in the light of our previously received thrashing, had brought a weakened side. Doh! In addition unfortunately they were let down at the very last minute by their keeper, & arrived in dribs & drabs. Despite the game starting half an hour late, some very nice hockey by the, er, 'guesting' home players inspired a general flurry of quality play from the whole Bees side. A string of goals ensued, with Messrs Cobain & Power playing some sweeet hockey down both wings, abley supported by the regular Bees. Occassional forays towards our 25 yard line were efficiently dealt with by the Bees defence, with some tenascious tacking by Baywatch, & some awesome supervision by yours truely... Goals by Power, Cobain, Yokker, Baxter (who shone as centre half).

At half time Baywatch admitted that he was overwhelmed by the (hitherto unsuspected) power of the Bees & that he was slinking off for the last fifteen minutes of our game to watch City. The normal Churchillian half time speech from the hallowed leader was listened to in respectful silence by his acolytes (well something like that happened anyway) & each one started the second half with a little glint of steely determination in their hearts (OK, maybe I'm pushing my luck a bit here...). Lytham made a reasonable fist of the first few minutes & pressured us, but then the Bees swung back into action, creating some excellent opportunities & putting a few more goals on the scoresheet. In a bizarre 'Twilight Zone' moment, I glanced up from the half way line only to see 'Marvellous Mike' Kirchin (now two stone lighter after a tough excercise regime & the love of a bad woman. And I do mean at the same time, folks! ) storming the top of the oppo's Dee & slotting away a corker of a goal.

Lytham meanwhile were increasing the ferocity of their attacks, & eventually the Bees started to flag. This allowed Big Al what I assume (hope) is the lowlight of his long & honourable hockey career, namely some blatantly unecessary fannying about with the ball, predictably followed by losing said item to Lytham's demon forward who, in a one-on-one confrontation with the hitherto quiescent Dawson-Smith promptly scored. Tsk! I suppose I'd better mention (just in case he reads this!) that Baywatch had recently left the field to pursue his baser instincts (not Janey, but City) & so we were a bit lacking on the old tackling front. Nevertheless the defence were stung (OK, embarassed) into doing a more thorough job & managed to fight off the increasingly persistent Lytham attack. Sammy made some slick saves towards the end of the game to keep the scoreline suitably one-sided, & the Bees managed to create a couple more goals before the final whistle went. This was an event in itself, as the umpire had been none other than The Hockey Spin Doctor himself, Andy Braithwaite - at last we now know how to keep him quiet for seventy minutes...

The game was very enjoyable & it was a pleasure to see the Bees on form, taking the lead of the IIIs players and bringing their game up to match. All we've got to do now is remember all this when we have the rematch in December on the wetpitch. Wonder if the first team have a game that day? Mwahahahahahaha!!!