Brooklands 0 - Bowdon Killer Bees 1

After the traditional site-seeing tour that seems to mark the beginning of any Bees away match, the team duly arrived at the theatre of dreams that is Brooklands Astro pitch.

An enterprising start to the game saw the teams evenly matched, with Brooklands seemingly content to sit back and hit us on the break, whilst we were content to pin them in their own half and search for the incisive through ball that would open up their defence.

Midway through the first half Steve Royle scored to put the mighty Bees ahead. A mazy run past a wall of defenders was given the reward it deserved with a sweet shot that hammered into the back board. This was the highlight of the half, as nothing else interesting happened. A burst of tempo before half time gave Bowdon the ascendancy, however the ball refused to go in the net and 1–0 it remained at half time.

After a rousing half time talk, we looked to take the second half to Brooklands. Numerous short corners were awarded, however none could be converted. After a goal mouth scramble several players thought the ball had crossed the line and the Bees had doubled their lead, but the referee was unsighted due to their lump of a keeper carelessly lying in the way and the goal wasn’t given. Towards the end of the match we came under some periods of pressure, probably due to the team being knackered after their first half exploits. After a nervy 5 minutes the ball was eventually cleared and normal service was resumed with renewed pressure in their half. A last minute short corner had all its seriousness removed when one veteran player who shall remain nameless (Al) decided that EHA rules didn’t apply any more and led a triumphant chorus of “three cheers” after full time was blown. Fortunately some of his teammates were aware of the rules (despite joining in), and finished off the routine by knocking the ball wide of the goal in an effort to ensure consistency with the rest of the match.

Everyone retired to the bar for tea and crumpets and to hear Olly ignore the missus' phone call to tell a transvestite nun joke to a captive audience.

Ladies & gentleman, I give you... Neil Bretton