Warrington Is 2 - Bowdon IXs 0

Following last weeks whipping of Lymm, spirits were high. Mostly as a result of too much alcohol still in the system from the night befores partying, with Cooper relaying how he'd almost called in at Ollys at 3.15am that morning to give him some words of encouragement before the match.

A couple of recognised faces in the opposition soon lowered the tone, with calls of "I'm going to flatten the b******" and "if he comes near me i'm going to kill 'im" from the keeper leaving the defence slightly deafened. This didn't seem to matter too much however, as for the first 20 minutes the teams seemed evenly matched. The next 15 minutes saw Warrington start to play the ball around a bit more, although the half time break saw neither team nosing ahead, with the score stuck resolutely at 0-0.

At half time El Capitan said something (probably about passing backwards and using width or something equaly revolutionary), but had carelessly picked up a yard of jaffa cakes at a service station stop on the way, so everyone ignored what he said and scoffed as many cakes as they could grab instead.

Laden with jaffa, the second half saw a poor performance from the team who had so recently put Lymm firmly in their place. Lazy barmans pre-match footy fixture was clearly in the back of most peoples minds, as Bowdon resorted to using their feet instead of their sticks for the second half. Some bloke wandered through the defence to score their first early in the second half, and a second was swept in following a short corner. At some point, they had a goal from a short disallowed too, but your reporter has no idea exactly when this happened.

At 2-0 up, Warrington started getting lary with many niggly tackles and much shouting at referees, handing us a 3-0 moral victory on a plate. This made no difference to anything however, as we were poor, and some outstanding saves from the keeper was all that stopped them from increasing their lead.

Back at the bar, in his home environment the lazy barman took the home venues lazy barmistress outside and returned an embarassingly short time later, grinning like a chimp...